Dating!

Shidduchim

One must as themselves the following questions before going on a date: “am I ready to get married?” Although a lot of people answer yes to this question, their actions speak to the contrary. If you answer yes to this question then you answer yes to be committed to the person that you are marrying, you are saying that this person is now my family and their needs and wants come first. You are saying that your family is still incredibly important to you but it is now not your immediate family but your spouse is. A lot of single people that are currently nodding their heads in commitment to this stigma of “yes” I am ready to commit are picturing their lives exactly as they are now but with one extra addition. If you are lucky that is true. If you are lucky, you meet someone from the same city that you are from and you don’t have to move, you just have to make room. What if though, you are searching in your city and you get bupkas? What if there is nobody left to date? What if you have to travel to date? WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO MOVE? It is this last problem that I would like to address. It seems that a large number of singles feel that they should not have to move. They feel like, if the other party is serious as well then they would move and not them. Some singles even believe that the city that they are from is far more superior to the city that the other person is from and therefore they should not be expected to give it up. Well here is the shock for everyone that has ever tried to set up two people. At first glance these people you are trying to set up seem perfect for each other, until one of them whips out those incredible words which indicate “ah ah partner, I’m not moving anywhere”.
After one such comment to me I felt as though I wanted to reach through the phone and ring this person’s neck. If felt as though I have been betrayed by my single friend. My single friend had been saying that they don’t mind moving for years and now that there is this awesome boy they bring this piece of goodliness out! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!
I feel like after soul searching I have figured out some of the problems. Though speaking to other singles and at one point in time being single my self I have heard tons of explanations on such behaviors. Some of those explanations included, ‘the older you get, the more set you are in your ways the less you are likely wanting to change’. Others ‘the more comfortable you get in your life style, the least likely you will want to change it’. Others still, ‘the people are just very attached to their families and are unable to invasion life without them’.
To all these I have a response. The first is of course the most ridiculous. The more set in your ways you are??? So then do the world a favor don’t get married at all because inevitably it will end in divorce because you are unwilling to compromise. The second, how comfortable are you when you are living with your parents and not having a moment of peace. How comfortable are you living with roommates and not having your own little corner to call home? How comfortable are you when you are going out alone and seeing everyone else in what seem like happy romances? The third is by far the best in my opinion. I love my family very much and feel that I too cannot be too far away from them. I feel like I need to be close enough in order to be able to jump in a car and be there in a few hours. Yet, there are families that are so smothering that a child physically doesn’t see how they will be with out their family at all. A couple blocks down the street is as far as they will go. Those are the ones to watch out for. Those are the ones that will have their families in your business all the time. Those are the ones that have no limits, no boundaries. Those are the ones that could potentially cause a divorce because their family will always come before their spouse and as we all know that is a recipe for a disaster.
So with all of that said. Are you ready to get married? If you are then I’ll be serious and try really hard on your behalf.
If you aren’t….stop yanking me around as if I were a yo-yo!