Dating!

Shidduchim

One must as themselves the following questions before going on a date: “am I ready to get married?” Although a lot of people answer yes to this question, their actions speak to the contrary. If you answer yes to this question then you answer yes to be committed to the person that you are marrying, you are saying that this person is now my family and their needs and wants come first. You are saying that your family is still incredibly important to you but it is now not your immediate family but your spouse is. A lot of single people that are currently nodding their heads in commitment to this stigma of “yes” I am ready to commit are picturing their lives exactly as they are now but with one extra addition. If you are lucky that is true. If you are lucky, you meet someone from the same city that you are from and you don’t have to move, you just have to make room. What if though, you are searching in your city and you get bupkas? What if there is nobody left to date? What if you have to travel to date? WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO MOVE? It is this last problem that I would like to address. It seems that a large number of singles feel that they should not have to move. They feel like, if the other party is serious as well then they would move and not them. Some singles even believe that the city that they are from is far more superior to the city that the other person is from and therefore they should not be expected to give it up. Well here is the shock for everyone that has ever tried to set up two people. At first glance these people you are trying to set up seem perfect for each other, until one of them whips out those incredible words which indicate “ah ah partner, I’m not moving anywhere”.
After one such comment to me I felt as though I wanted to reach through the phone and ring this person’s neck. If felt as though I have been betrayed by my single friend. My single friend had been saying that they don’t mind moving for years and now that there is this awesome boy they bring this piece of goodliness out! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!
I feel like after soul searching I have figured out some of the problems. Though speaking to other singles and at one point in time being single my self I have heard tons of explanations on such behaviors. Some of those explanations included, ‘the older you get, the more set you are in your ways the less you are likely wanting to change’. Others ‘the more comfortable you get in your life style, the least likely you will want to change it’. Others still, ‘the people are just very attached to their families and are unable to invasion life without them’.
To all these I have a response. The first is of course the most ridiculous. The more set in your ways you are??? So then do the world a favor don’t get married at all because inevitably it will end in divorce because you are unwilling to compromise. The second, how comfortable are you when you are living with your parents and not having a moment of peace. How comfortable are you living with roommates and not having your own little corner to call home? How comfortable are you when you are going out alone and seeing everyone else in what seem like happy romances? The third is by far the best in my opinion. I love my family very much and feel that I too cannot be too far away from them. I feel like I need to be close enough in order to be able to jump in a car and be there in a few hours. Yet, there are families that are so smothering that a child physically doesn’t see how they will be with out their family at all. A couple blocks down the street is as far as they will go. Those are the ones to watch out for. Those are the ones that will have their families in your business all the time. Those are the ones that have no limits, no boundaries. Those are the ones that could potentially cause a divorce because their family will always come before their spouse and as we all know that is a recipe for a disaster.
So with all of that said. Are you ready to get married? If you are then I’ll be serious and try really hard on your behalf.
If you aren’t….stop yanking me around as if I were a yo-yo!

MY LIST!

Inspired by other lists I’ve decided to post my list of things I would like to Achieve.

In no particular order:

Go back to school for a masters or gain a certification in something that interests me.
Start doing work I enjoy
Travel Canada Namely: PEI, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, Labrador
Travel America Namely: Alaska, Colorado, Texas, Minnesota, Las Vegas
Travel the world: Greenland, Italy, Paris, England (London), Sweden, Norway, Belgium, Ireland, Norway, Brazil, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Scotland.
Achieve physical fitness, and LIKE IT!
Learn Hebrew and be fluent in it
Be honest with myself
Be honest with everyone else.
Learn to prioritize
Ski in Aspen
Watch an Olympic swimming event LIVE!!!
Ski in Banff, Lake Louis
Do a marathon and not finish last.
Hike the Grand Canyon and camp at the bottom!

Politics and corruption

Reading the paper I found this following article.
The one thing I keep wondering, ‘how important is FRANCE?’

From the article: “Speaking to a packed session of the legislature, Sarkozy also called on Israel to stop building settlements in the West Bank. But he tempered his address by assuring Israel that it could count on France's support in halting Iran's nuclear program.”

Really, it’s not like they do anything useful at all. Any war that they have fought in, they have surrendered. So, how important is the opinion of an anti-Semitic country where there are more arabs than Frenchmen?

Again, just a thought

Good People!

What does it mean to be a good person?

When a conversation ensues about good people, what is the exact definition? It is interesting to hear some people’s explanations of who a good person is. Some people say that a good person is one that gives tzedaka. Others say that it is one that upholds all the laws. Yet, there is not one concrete consensus on what makes a good person. I was conversing with my gentile co-worker and it came out about making donations and or contributions to our respective charities. It really intrigued me to find out that they do not donate to any organization regularly; still she said if someone needed the money then she would give it over. Though, as the conversation continued I realized that her initial blanket statement was partially false. What she meant by helping people out was by donating her used items of clothing, or other used goods. However, with all of that said and done she did say that she helps out the family, this statement she proved by dropping a few numbers. A roughly calculated estimate would say that she does not donate anywhere close to 10% though she probably does donate to family about 5%. So, with all of that said, does this make her a good person? She educates her children, raises them with manners and respect, pays taxes and is a law abiding citizen. Is she a good person?
In my opinion she is. She works hard, pays her dues and lives her life the way she chooses to. Yet, if she was of the Jewish faith we would criticize this person to no end. She does not send her kids to a private school, she eats out all the time, and she doesn’t give enough charity. So, how could this person possibly be good?
Is it possible that our understanding of good and bad is skewed? Is it possible that we give more heed to someone wearing the garb but not practicing the basic principals of being a good person. Is it possible that we are too critical, to judgmental and too closed minded for our own good? I think that the answer is yes to all of the fore mentioned questions. I think that in the orthodox circles we feel that we are better than everyone else even though we do not show that off, even though we do not act the way that we should. There have been so many times where I hear two friends talking about religion and religious obligation; I hear them get so specific about one point that they lose sight of the big picture. When two friends are talking about being tznius and are going into so much depth about the length of a skirt or the color of a yarmulke and then turn around and speak loshon hora it makes me feel like I don’t want to associate or be associated with anything that the two women stand for. People are such hypocrites that they don’t see what they are doing to themselves, their family members or anyone else around them.
So does this mean that the hypocrites are bad people and everyone that lives their lives properly isn’t? If so, then what is the definition of proper? If the orthodox way of life is supposed to be proper, righteous, and overall good then why are so many of the orthodox people the exact opposite of everything listed? Why pretend to be something and somebody that a person is definitely not? Why not just live the way that you want to without having need or necessity to keep up an image and feel like an impostor?
I guess for now, all we can do is live our lives so that they are the best for ourselves and our families.

Food, Again?

So this topic is re-occurring and I'm not sure if it is because it is such a large part of my life or because I now pay attention to it way more than I used to!
Before I moved out on my own I had no idea how much anything cost in the grocery store. I didn't know what the average price was, and I certainly didn't know what a 'good' price was for any of the essential fruits and vegetables. Once I moved out and started to buy my own groceries I realized a few things very quickly: 1) I should have lived at home for longer because there food was free unless I wanted junk food which was a total of $10 a week if that. 2) Food spoils quickly, you cannot stock up for more than one week on fruits and vegetables. 3) Fruits and vegetables cost a lot more and are a lot less filling then buying junk food. It is this last point I would like to concentrate on.
This week I was at one of our kosher supermarkets in town. It is quite extensive and the biggest in the city where I reside. I noticed that the fruits and vegetables were definitely marked up a little more than what I just spent in the produce store down the street. I also noticed that there are so many aisles of already prepared food. What caught my attention, while not realizing this earlier, were the number of aisle dedicated to strictly junk food. What I mean by junk food: potato chips, candies, chocolates and the sub categories of each. There were 4 complete aisles in two separate parts of the store dedicated to these items. That is 4 aisles, both sides of the aisle. Then another aisle, both sides dedicated to pop and juices. Then I started to think of the recent articles that I've read about obesity and the crisis that America is in. It doesn't surprise me that this country is in a crisis. HOW could it now be? When you have more processed food available for purchase, when there is so much junk food, appealing to anyone and everyone, from chocolate to caramel and everything in the middle, how can anyone resist the temptation to buy and eat something that just looks so appealing! With these foods containing so many negative additives that do not break down easily in our bodies, that work against our bodies digestive systems how can Americans be thin?
The temptation to buy unhealthy food is too great to resist for a few different reasons: it tastes good, it's cheaper than anything healthy and there is no preparation time involved. If eaten enough of it, a person can definitely get full on junk food. So what is better - buying something that costs more and is less filling or buying something cheap and filling? Really the option there is an obvious one...right? WRONG? In the long run eating healthy will be beneficial to the individual. Spending less on doctors visits, spending less on dentist visits and overall feeling better. In the short run, it costs more and is more time consuming.
In North America it seems that people are more focused in getting more for you buck and spending as little time as possible doing things that they do not like to do. So, for a lot of people it is much better to eat out, or eat unhealthy foods because there is no prep time involved an no cleaning. Even when we think of Shabbat and all the good that it is, we have to take into the fact of how much food there is on this holy day. We're eating late and eating mass amounts of bread and, of course, there is dessert - it's a shabbat treat! What if we ate healthy on Shabbat too? What if instead of a whole dessert we would eat half of a dessert? Would this behaviour kill us? NO, this behaviour would give us the strength to be healthy. This behaviour would give us the strength to get up early in the morning and go to shul on time for shabbat services. These good eating habits give us the strength to stay up on shabbat day and learn rather than get so full that a nap is a necessity rather than to learn and fill our hearts and souls with Torah and Knowledge.
In conclusion: eating healthy is just a start. It is a start to become healthy not only in body but also in mind and spirit. Fight the urge and evilness of eating junk food. Your body is your domain, don't let it be invaded by something that costs $0.99!

War in Iraq

Just a little reminder of how nice it is to live in America and enjoy all of the freedoms that the country allows. As of today there are 4101 soldiers that have died for the United States of America.

Fat and Dieting

This topic is so widely spread and talked about that I’m sure everyone knows about everything that I have to write about. Still, I would like to point out a couple different ideas.
It is interesting to me that as of late, dieting has come up in relation to the escalating food prices. In my opinion that is bizarre. Un-healthy food or junk food as we know it costs much less than nutritious or good food as we know it. The real issue is not the cost but the health concerns behind such statements. When someone is slightly overweight the issue is less severe than for someone who is obese. Unfortunately the scale for overweight or obese is very small and someone that might look like they are a little overweight could potentially be classified as obese. I think this article is very interesting; one of the interesting points of it is that this morbidly obese man who weighed 1235 pounds blames his problem on….JUNK FOOD!
“Uribe said his weight problem spiraled out of control after he moved to the United States for a few years in 1988 and indulged in a nonstop diet of junk food and soft drinks.”
See the distressing part in this particular case is this man feels that it was not his fault for getting into the situation he is currently in. He blames junk food and soft drinks so naturally his hands were tied. He became that big because of those issues and that is all. What is more interesting is that he is not the only one. Many people that become obese or really overweight blame other issues and rid them of the guilt. Making something an obsession is a psychological problem and of course is a disease. In my opinion, when a person takes something whatever it maybe to such an extreme, it is a mental issue and it needs to be addressed. Someone pinning all the blame onto ‘junk food’ clearly needs help addressing the real issues.
Now, for everyone else that just happens to be overweight and not 1235 pounds, the best way of shedding weight is the ancient way that has been tried. It has been tested and it is truly the only way………..eating well balanced meals and exercise. There is no mystery behind it. There are no hidden facts, or hidden agendas, eating right and working out is the way to live a healthy life. This article outlines some lies and gives good advice as to achieving success

One last thought on dieting: eating at 9pm is not healthy because you have a large meal and go to sleep. That is bad. If eating at 9pm is necessary as we know it is when Shabbat starts at 8:08pm then maybe eating a lighter meal should be a possible solution. Nobody needs to eat meat that late at night, nor eating lots of carbohydrates. Eating right and thinking of what is going into your body are ways of losing weight and feeling great about it. Dieting in ways that are hurtful to your overall health is not a way to a successful diet plan. Just a way to shed some pounds and then gain them back the second you stop doing the diet.

Good luck.

War in Iraq

It is interesting for me to see that America doesn't care about America!

The beginning of this article really starts with the war in Iraq. Most Americans don't even know there is a war in Iraq. There are slight little updates here and there, but really it doesn't effect anyone in the slightest. We all have deeper issues to deal with then this Mideastern war. Americans don’t see this war as their own. Most Americans don’t know that we have lost over 4087 soldiers their in the last 5 years, and every day the number grows larger. Most Americans, don’t understand the amount of veterans coming home with psychological issues and thousands have tried to commit suicide. American’s don’t understand or maybe they just don’t care about their own people risking their lives in a war with Iraq.

Do Americans not care because the war is not on American soil? Everyone was very patriotic during 9/11, was that only because it was on our soil? The news barely touches on this war, it’s almost like it only exists for people that are in the army or directly affiliated with it. There is no talk of it at work, nor at extra curricular activities. So either people are so concerned that they are not talking about it, or more likely, people think that if you ignore it, it might go away.

I just feel that Americans don’t value the freedom that soldiers provide for them. The reason they are not fighting a war in America is because they are taking care of the problem before it reaches American shores, but, Do Americans understand that? Do they believe in that? Do they believe in anything?

Why do we take freedom for granted?

Food.

It is always interesting to me how big of a deal food is. I was just thinking about it and realized that food takes up the better half of our lives. We have to think about it, we have to buy it, we have to prepare it. We go out for food, we stay in for food, we socialize over food. We spend time reading recipes, discussing recipes and picking out just the right ingredient for the recipe. Our lives really revolve around food.
Now, think of someone on a diet. Not only do their lives revolve around food, they also cannot eat it! Now, even more time is needed to review recipes, and measure accurately and count and watch what you eat. Really, in our society our lives revolve around food. It is incredible how more people do not have obsessions on this topic.
It is no wonder to me that the price of food is going up. Gas prices are going up, therefore they have a direct link to all other prices involving transportation. It seems though that people are genuinely shocked when the price of food is higher. Why, because they feel it is a necessity and therefore should not go up in price. The fact is, because it IS a necessity is why it is going up in price. People cannot live without food, therefore, no matter what the price they will pay it.

Now, here is a question: What if someone is on a very limited budget, what can they now buy for $20 a week in groceries to feed a family of 2.

Answer: 1 pound of tomato's, 1 pound of cucumbers, 1 pound of onions, 1 pound of carrots, 1 lettuce, 1 cabbage, 1 bunch dill, 5 pound bag of potatoes, 1 bag of rice (1 pound), 1/2 turkey breast, 5 kiwi's, 1 pound of grapes.

You don't have to pick those particular items but just as an example.

Who thinks that's enough food to last a whole week without feeling hungry? Who thinks that's enough nutrients? I'm not sure that I do.
Last week I spent $40 to feed my husband and I for a week. That did not include shabbat. Where we were invited out for all meals. We brought with us fresh fruit salad that I made.

Just wondering what will happen to the value of the dollar? Wondering what is already happening in countries where the economy is weak? What are people meant to do?