How do we not get into debt over Purim. Sure other holidays maybe more involved and more costly but it seems that everyone just forgets about Purim. This year we are looking at making between 35 and 40 Mishloach manot. That being said we are looking at a high price tag for all of them. So we have to get more creative. Meaning themes that are not as involved, and packaging which is cheaper than usual.
I enjoy it when people put thought into their mishloach manot so I try to do the same. I create a theme, try to match a costume and of course run to the dollar store to make sure that it can all go together. With about 40 to do, even the dollar store is a bit expensive. Packaging alone at even $1 will run $40 and that is without anyting inside! So when everything is all said and done we are looking at about $80-$100...is it worth it? Really is it? The mitzvah is 2 manot, with two brochas inside. So why am I going crazy with all these extras!? The answer you guessed it is Politics! We have a very tight knit shul. So if we ignore someone by not giving them a manot then we offend them and then a world war starts. So really now I'm doing things to make other people feel better.
So, this brings me to the following question...what are we celebrating and why?
If I feel burdened by all this stuff that I have to do...should I still do it for the sake of keeping face with other people? Should I still drive myself, my husband and everyone else around me crazy? Or should I live my life, do my mitzvah, try not to offend anyone and have a good time.
Honestly, I am not sure. I haven't picked which to do just yet. Hopefully I'll make up my mind by the end of this week and then all will be better.
Your thoughts are appreciated!
***Update****
We decided that we are only doing 16 so the list got cut and if there are people who have their feelings hurt then we will talk to them about it. If they don't want to talk about it then obviously they are not so upset. :-)
3 comments:
Hi and welcome. Check out www.garnelironheart.blogspot.com when you have time.
As for Purim, I read your post with a lot of interest because a similar ritual happens in my house come Shvat every year. What can we do that's original? Where can we find the supplies? And how much will it cost?
The problem is this: We gets lots of fancy Mishloach Manos from people and other families we know send us something simple in paper bags. And you know what? I don't think anything less of them because they weren't as creative as my wife. People are busy, or maybe have other priorities.
We send Mishloach Manos because it is a mitzvah to do so and to fulfill the criteria is relatively easy. The Megillah tells us they sent "portions", not "exquisitiely designed custom baskets of goodies" to each other. If you remember nothing else, remember that.
So here's my suggestion: Do something simple that fulfills the requirements for the mitzvah. Then calculate the difference between what your expenses were and what they might have been if you had gone all out. Donate that to the local kosher food bank and include a piece of paper with each mishloach manot that says "In lieu of something fancy, we've made a donation to the truly needy this year." That way you fulfill both the mitzvos of Purim and giving Jewish guilt!
My kids already started baking little cakes of different types. I pick up everything on sale or on clearance throughout the year and refuse to do overboard. The baking is fun for my kids. The cost is minimal. And, in the end we don't go broke.
I have a book about financial thinking for women. One mistake that women tend to make is feeling the need to reciprocate. No doubt this feeds into the mishloach manot frenzy.
I hear ya!! We have also gone a little crazy in the past with Mishloach Manot. One reason I think everyone gets to caught up in it is that it's fun!! To me, it's not a matter of what other people are doing. It's more like, I enjoy having a theme with matching costumes and cute packaging. I love it!
Along the lines of what Garnelion said, I enjoy seeing what other people give (fancy or not) and don't think any less of anyone if their Shaloch Manot are on a plate vs. a fancy basket, etc. I am always happy to be included on their list of recipients!
This year we're not taking the fancy and expensive route. Gotta save that money for making Aliyah. And yes, I did want to have a theme but it's getting close and we just haven't had time to work on one. Also my 3 year old already has 2 costumes picked out!!
This year, (I think) we are copying what others did in years past on an Erev Shabbat Purim. I thought it was the CUTEST idea!! And that is to give things people can use on Shabbat. This will keep it homemade (mostly), cute, and useful.
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